on a more positive note...

I promise, I won't bitch that much today. It must get exhausting, only listening to bitch, bitch and more bitch. It will be a more of a positive post this time.

Things aren't too bad here. Work is busy - we just started a new season which means new kids and new parents and that means busy. I'll admit, I'm having issues getting into the groove when all I want to do is sleep but it's getting better. (I say that as I yawn and grope around the table, looking for my coffee....) But we have a bunch of new kids who are slowly getting used to our youth club and there are definitely full of energy and life - they are keeping me on guard, awake and on my toes, whether I like it or not.

I'm still being hit hard by waves of bad moods and PMS-like attitude but it's getting better. One day at a time, right? I am now on the war path in getting my life back to the way I want it to be - which is a longer process but it could turn into a fun one too. I'm not drastically changing my life - as I mentioned, I do like it and feel that I shouldn't be complaining as much as I have been lately. I just need some tweaks and some changes to make it closer to perfect..... and that's what I've been working on. I'll keep you guys posted.

Other than that, nothing new and exciting to write about. I'm back at the pub again and I have a double weekend coming up - Friday at the door and then Saturday in the coatcheck. It's been a crazy week with extra meetings, bits of drama and just no time to read my book and enjoy the peace and quiet my little home can sometimes provide. Lucky for me, I have a short day at work and then am planning on spending my evening here at home with my laundry, my book and maybe my vacumn cleaner - I haven't decided yet. I'll probably change out the vacumn for some knitting needles :o)

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mind zombie

I should be in bed - It's after midnight and I have to work tomorrow. And I'm tired. But not sleepy tired.... I'm so drained for energy but I can't sleep right now. It's been a rough week and I need an end to all these MEH feelings.

I shouldn't be having MEH feelings and I feel guilty about complaining about stuff because really..... my life is not bad at all. I have a great family who love me very much. I have wonderful friends who are there for me whenever I need it. I have a stabil job which I love - doesn't make me rich but definitely lets me pay my bills and still live comfortably. My health is decent - I can't complain there. My "love-life" is right where I want it to be at the moment. I had an amazing summer vacation in Canada with great friends and my family. I have fun plans and goals for the future. I love my little apartment. I just bought a Kobo and have re-discovered my love for reading. I just learned how to knit and I'm dying to work on some projects.

See.... I shouldn't be bitching. .

But I'm going to do just that.

I feel angry and sad at the same time. I'm in a constant whirlwind of emotions and even I can't figure out when I want to laugh, cry or shout evil things at the person standing next to me. Talk about your severe PMS mood swings! I'm angry at myself for not being able to get my shit together whenever I'm off work and sitting at home. I have a long list of "things-to-do" and I haven't crossed anything off of it since I got back last week from Canada. And I'm sad about leaving Canada and I'm angry at myself for ever making the decision about living here. I have the choice about where I want to live and it hurts so much, no matter what I choose. I'm sad and miss my parents and friends back home. I'm sad (and angry) that my Mormor died before I could say goodbye in person. I'm angry with myself for waiting 4 years before I got my shit together and got a ticket to visit her.... one month and 9 days before I was supposed to fly out, she died. I'm sad that I can't be there for my mom while she's dealing with the loss of her mom. I'm sad that I can't just fly back and forth from DK to Canada whenever I please.

I could keep going but I'm going to end the pity-me post now. It's seriously depressing. Yes, I'm in a bad mood and it's draining me for energy. I just miss everyone over there and I think the "end of trip" blues have finally hit. And the loss of my Mormor. She's gone and she's not coming back. Ever. The family is slowly breaking apart and it's because we lost her. I wonder if she ever realized that she was the fundament of our family.

So, what do I do to get out of this funk? It's not like I can just pack up my shit, kiss this life goodbye and move to Canada. And it's not like I can bring my Mormor back to life. I can't just ignore my MEH feelings and fake a smile all the time. But I'm tired of being angry and I'm tired of being sad. A friend here in DK, who knows me quite well, said to me the other day that I haven't been very happy for the past several months and at first, I thought, BULLSHIT. But then I thought.... I think she's right.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!

It's almost 1 a.m.... I should be sleeping. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

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Weekend

Hell did not freeze over and pigs still can't fly. I actually spent a quiet Friday night at home! Holy crap, eh??

But it was a nice evening. Quiet. Just me. I made a good dinner and then plopped myself on the couch with a good movie and a footbath. Yups. I treated myself to a spa-like foot treatment and now I have pretty.... nope. Can't say it because feet are just not pretty. Anyways, it was a nice night and I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

Tonight will be different. Partying (working) it up at Tartan Pub in the coatcheck. Then I have to pack tomorrow and get ready for a 5 day camping trip with 17 kids. Then I have 4 days of work after that and then.... vacation!! Freaking wonderful! I can't wait! Lots of plans for the first week I'm in DK and then I'm off to Canada. WOOT WOOT! Gotta love it!

PS. Still not smoking!

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Day 5...

It's Day 5 of being a non-smoker. Well, maybe it's only day 4 because I cheated twice on Saturday.... Anyways, I haven't cheated since then and I'm doing okay. I've had some really bad moments - waiting for the bus, right after work and just before bed. But I'm sticking to it and refuse to start up again. I am now a non-smoker.... Sounds kinda weird saying it. I don't remember the last time I went this long without smoking - At least 15 years ago.

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Life

I'm back. It's been a really long time since I really wrote anything here but I'm back now. My life has been slightly chaotic and busy so I haven't had much time nor energy to use here but hopefully that'll change.

RIP Mormor. My grandmother passed away June 11, 2011. She was 84 years old and was a super cool lady. And I already miss her like crazy. I really don't know what to write because no words can describe how I'm feeling right now and I know the rest of the family is having a hard time with this loss. It hurts and it's going to hurt for a long time. But I'm trying to focus on the happy memories and keep her close to my heart. It was her time to go and I understand that - but it doesn't make it any easier saying goodbye.

 

 

I love you Mormor.

 Summer vacation is coming up. I have 3 weeks left at work and then I have a 5 week vacation. Not too bad, eh? We're taking a group of kids next week to Germany for a 5 day camping trip which was a huge success last year. Keep your fingers crossed for sunshine and well-behaved children! The first couple of weeks of my vacation will be spent here in DK where I will just relax and enjoy some quiet time. But then I'm off to Canada for a few weeks - and I can't wait! I was supposed to visit my grandparents but things changed when Mormor died so now I will be going directly to the island where my parents live. It'll be nice seeing them all again - It's been almost 2 years since I last saw them or any of my Canadian friends.

Another big news from here.... I have officially quit smoking. It's still very new so I'm still in the beginning phase of being a non-smoker but so far so good. And I'm doing better this time than any other attempt in the past. I'm doing it for me - tired of being chained to the addiction. Tired of smelling sour and gross. Tired of spending money on it. Just tired of being a smoker. And I'm doing it for my Mormor. I told her a few days before she died that I will quit smoking and I am sticking to it. So now, I'm officially a non-smoker. I made it through an outdoor rock concert last night where everyone around me were smoking.... but NOT ME! Not even a single puff or drag. It's over for me.

Rock concert last night - Jon Bon Jovi with a good friend of mine, Heidi. Her and I have been to several concerts together, including Metallica and +Live+ so it was only natural that we'd go to Bon Jovi. So that is exactly what we did. Dinner at her place, lots of girl-talk and baby-talk (she's pregnant!!) and just a really good time. The concert was okay - the sound wasn't good and that ruined several of his kickass old-school songs. A real shame because I think Bon Jovi performed very well and he does have an amazing voice. But it was nice spending some time with Heidi and we did get to see Jon Bon Jovi live.

There is so much going on here but I'm not going to bother writing about it. A lot of ups and downs and it's been hard keeping the energy level up. I can fake it at work - that's easy enough, but when I get home and I'm alone.... I'm just drained. I'm trying to exercise more but that's proving to be difficult. I don't have much time and I don't have much energy. Bad combination. I've been giving yoga a chance and I think I actually like it.

Okay, I'm starting to babble. And I'm starting to crave a smoke (I always smoked while blogging) so I'm going to end this post now and do.... something. I just need to get away from this computer and keep my hands and mind busy.

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been away....

Hi guys. Sorry I haven't been around for quite a while but a thing called life just kept getting in the way.

No details here in this post and I promise that I'll be back sooner rather than later but it won't be today. But I just wanted to let you all know that I am still around and I will continue on with this blog, as soon as I sort through some things and find the mental energy.

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Summer 2011

Today is my mom's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It's my Easter vacation right now, so I'm enjoying a quiet day with music, coffee, too many smokes, cleaning and just hanging out here at home. All my jobs are very social with either kids, co-workers and party-loving fun people, so it's nice to have some time here at home, alone. I was supposed to work last night at the pub but it was a super slow night, so I went home early. But that's okay with me since I'm working Thursday-Friday-Saturday and Sunday night...

Things here are good. Actually, really good. The sun is shining, all my windows are open and I'm enjoying life. I'm starting to make my plans for my four week long summer vacation and this year - it's going to ROCK!

YAY!

This year, I finally get to visit my grandparents in Ontario! I rarely get to see them - the last time I saw them was 4 years ago and then before that - MANY years! I'm so happy and so excited! So mom and I will be meeting up in Toronto and driving up to them for a few days. Just a relaxing, coffee-drinking, lots of hugs and "hygge" kind of visit. After we spend some days there, we drive back down to Toronto and instead of ending my trip there, I fly back with mom to the island to see dad and all the crazy people over there. I can't wait!!

Yes, I'm gushing. But I'm super happy and super excited so let me gush.

Other future plans.... How about a Bon Jovi concert with Heidi in June? Or a camping trip to Germany with the kids from the club, just before I go on vacation? Canada with Lise in September/October? It's all going to happen! The only "bummer" is that I won't be a part of Langelandsfestival but I can definitely live with that. It's great fun, with super cool people and a good experience but I can't make it all work out. Not this year.

I just finished my coffee, so maybe it's a good time to log off and get some spring cleaning done. If I get everything done today, then I can just relax and enjoy my Easter vacation - besides work, my plans are going to the gym, crafting, reading out in the sun, drinking way too much coffee, hanging out with friends... Right now, LIFE IS GOOD!

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ramblings

I have a feeling this post is going to be babble and ramblings. I want to write - it's been freaking forever since my last post - but I don't know what I'll end up writing about.

Things are good here. The sun was shining yesterday but now it's grey and yucky again. Good thing I'll be spending my day inside at work with the kids. I took the day off work yesterday but instead of actually getting things done - I vegged! And it was WONDERFUL! I didn't even feel like making dinner so I popped over at the "grill-bar" just down the street and picked up some greasy chicken and fries. Yummy. Good thing I don't do that as often because it was yummy while eating it but afterwards, wasn't so good. I forgot that fried greasy good tends to upset my stomach.

I took a plunge last week and cut my hair! And I HATE IT! I really hope its because I'm not used to chin-length hair but I miss my long flowing mane.... But then again, it's healthy for the hair to do that sometimes and I love hats so I'll just have to wait until it grows out a bit.

I have nothing much to say other than work, hair, greasy food.... oh right! I am still very much addicted to buying books online and just received a new batch. Crafty books of all sorts! LOVE LOVE LOVE crafty books. Good for cozy craft time here at home and also good for inspiration for the kids at work.

I have to go again, time to brush my teeth, find a hat and shoes and get ready for work. Not because I'm super thrilled that I took an extra shift today but I have to be responsible and adult-like. Being an adult is sometimes not all that fun!

LOVE YOU ALL!

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just a little hello...

I just wanted to say hello - I haven't been very active on my blogs but it's not because I have forgotten about them. I've just been super busy with extra shifts at all my jobs and things like blogging, housework, sleep and fun have been neglected. But I'm still here and will SOON come with an update. I promise!!

A very tired Rie and Dorte, after hosting a slumber party at work - it was a long night!

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online shopping can be dangerous!

I decided to treat myself this month and I don't feel at all guilty about it! I've been good lately (except my glasses) so I decided I deserved a little "extra something". I picked up a new scarf and necklace yesterday, while buying a bday present for Karin (my aunt). I bought some lux groceries on my way home from the gym - reminder: NEVER grocery shop when hungry! But my main treat is..... BOOKS! I went a little crazy and now I'm anxiously waiting for my packages to arrive. I bought a bunch of crafty books - general crafts, papercrafts, sewing and a couple of journals and I can't wait. WOOT WOOT! I could have gone even more crazy and ordered more - I had a huge wish list going but I was responsible and limited my choices.... for now.

Denmark has books. It's not like I have to order them online. Danes like to read too. (Unfortunately, we don't really have a kick-ass book store here in Vejle.) But I LOVE crafty books that inspire and motivate me and I especially love them in English. I'm better at English than Danish and therefore, I would prefer my reading material to be in English. Mind you, I CAN read Danish and I don't really have any problems but I don't "relax my mind" the same way. Plus there are many more English written crafty books that look super exciting. And the prices are decent - compared to DK prices.

Enough of that - I'll gush again once the books arrive.

Spinning class yesterday and my body is sore now. But I did good and damn proud of myself! I won't be able to go again until next Wednesday - really sucks with my work hours. I'm thinking of cancelling my membership at the gym due to limited time but then again, if I just plan ahead and make it a bigger priority in my life, then I should be able to find a few hours a week for exercise. Once the weather gets better, then maybe I'll start running.... maybe not.... I hate running.

Going to finish my coffee, perhaps a cup more and then it's off to work for me. I have JB during the day and then I'm going to Nørup for dinner at Karin and Ernst's place before we have to work at the youth club out there. I hope she likes her bday presents!! Happy Birthday Karin!

And a special bday shout-out to Glenda! It was also her birthday yesterday and I hope she had a good day. Hugs to you!!

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