December 5, 2014

Posted by Rie On 11:22 PM
It's Friday night and here I am. Not at the pub. Not out with friends. Not listening to loud music or serving drinks.

Home. It's quiet. I can hear my upstairs neighbour tramp around in his apartment and a party scene some windows down the street. The occasional car drives by and it's very lightly raining. And my fingers pounding away on the keyboard.

I'm not used to it being this quiet - but I like it.

School today. Not where I work but my own studies. I feel slightly smarter although I also feel more guilty about all the stuff I haven't read yet. I'm constantly behind in everything. If I study more, than I'm behind in my job(s). If I work more, than I'm behind in my studies. If I see friends, I'm not working. If I don't soon have a life outside of books and work, then I'll go crazy. And all I really want to do is sleep - but sleeping takes me away from everything else I should be doing.

Here I am bitching while "wasting" time on my blog. And it's not because anyone will come with the golden answer.

But I know I can do better. I must do better. I must read more. Exercise more. Work more. Earn more and save more. I need to prioritize my time better and get my shit together. Tonight was about me and my lazy needs - vegging on the couch with netflix and tea. Tomorrow, I fight for everything I want.

I have to start on my specialiseringsrapport. I have no idea what that is in English. It's a short-ish paper/exam where I focus my attention on a certain age group/work area, going in depth with a "problem" and using my "new" knowledge from the subject pædagogik and my elective VNT. Pædagogik is basically the essence of what I'm studying - I'm going to be a pædagog when I'm done and the subect pædagogik is everything behind it. My elective is a "workshop, nature and technique" course which has been a huge disappointment. I don't even know who to blame - my teacher is nice and a total VNT geek - meant in a positive way. But even she can't lift that subject to something remotely interesting. And I like creativity. Just not what I expected at all so it's becoming a struggle.

I can choose from 4 different work areas and either I'm going to work with youth from my youthclub or youth at school. I'm thinking the school but I'm not even close in figuring out what subject to focus on. I have to google some possible subjects - not to cheat but to get an idea of which road I want to take.

My exam last week went okay. No bragging rights but considering the time and energy I had to put into the exam, it went well. A solid pass but again, no bragging rights. I want more this time.

My neighbours next door are arguring in a language I don't understand. It always seems more violent in a different language.

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